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How to use your body language to develop your
success and power ... Stuart Goldsmith shows you how in 'How to
Talk & Win'
How to Talk & Win by Stuart
Goldsmith
Most people would rather do a bungee jump into the
Grand Canyon - even if they suffered from vertigo - than stand up
and speak before an audience. The sight of expectant faces all waiting
to hear what the speaker has to say, literally renders many people
speechless with fear. Even a meeting with a bank manager, can be
daunting, especially when asking for finance for the winning business
venture.
And yet some people seem to ooze confidence from
every pore. No embarrassing silences, fidgeting, twirling a ring
restlessly round and round a finger, or any other outward signs
of unease or nerves in sight. Instead, they seem poised and relaxed,
even in the face of opposition to their views or requests. These
people seem able effortlessly to obtain financial support for their
ideas and get people to say 'yes' to buying their product. They
positively radiate wealth and abundance. So how do they do it? What's
their secret?
The Way to Look and Move
It takes just 10 seconds, for other people to weigh
you up. And the way you look and move makes up at least 80% of their
first impression of you. This is all before you utter one word,
so it's essential you look like a successful 'somebody'. It's only
possible to achieve this if you feel like a 'somebody'.
Body Language
Meeting strangers is difficult for most people. And
a business meeting with strangers, when you want to sell your idea
to them, is especially daunting. A simple fail-safe technique is
to pretend or imagine the person is an old friend that you're unexpectedly
re-uniting with. This simple process will soften all your features
and make you more amiable and approachable. Because your body language
will be expressing, 'I like you', to the other person, it will endear
you to them and they are much more likely to meet your requests.
Stand in front of a mirror and practice meeting a
stranger as if they were an old acquaintance.
The Power of the Winning Smile
A warm smile is a powerful achieving tool. When you
first meet someone, don't immediately flash a smile, they will feel
extra special if you pause for a moment to get an impression of
them. Then let a warm smile flood over your face and into your eyes.
The split second delay convinces a person that your smile is meant
only for them and that makes them feel special.
It's equally important to continually wear a pleasant
look on your face. Here's a fail-safe technique so you never fall
into the trap of grimacing, frowning or generally looking unfriendly.
Step 1 - Sit or stand in front of a mirror. Put your
lips together and don't move them. Look at your face in the mirror
concentrating on the eyes. They are lifeless.
Step 2 - Now lift up the corners of your mouth and
watch your eyes come alive. This gives you a natural casual look
which should be used at all times to give a pleasant look to your
face.
Four Talking Tips
Eye Contact
Looking into the eyes of the person you're having
a conversation with plants confidence that you're concentrating
on them and not elsewhere. It's very flattering when someone gives
you their undivided attention. So keep strong eye contact - it broadcasts
a message of understanding while making the recipient feel closer
to you.
After Hello
If you want to bring people around to being interested
in what you have to say or show them, first evaluate their mood
and voice tone. If they're really relaxed, immediately pitching
in about your idea or product, might be too aggressive and destroy
your chances of obtaining what it is you want from them. If they're
in a state of nervous tension from being far too busy for comfort,
understand and sympathise with them, if only for a minute, before
talking about your business needs. Maintaining eye contact you should
be able to register if your listener gets bored or excited during
conversations. Be sympathetic to the other person's needs.
Be Interesting
Monosyllable answers of yes and no don't usually
achieve desirable results. For example, let's take the question,
'where do you come from?' It's far more revealing and interesting
if instead of just answering, 'Crantock', the answer was, 'Crantock.
It's a small Cornish village, famous for smuggling during the 16th
century.'
This answer opens up possibilities for the other
person to comment on. It also reveals a lot about you. By demonstrating
a willingness to share deeper thoughts with someone else, it makes
them feel special and endears them to you.
Take an Interest
How people comment or answer you, reveals a lot about
themselves. Supposing you were trying to sell your idea for a film
and you made this comment, 'we fully intend to make a film of this
story,' and your film industry contact replied, 'the latest Bond
movie was amazing.' From that reply with just a little careful digging
you could find out exactly why they thought that particular Bond
movie was amazing. Did they like the director? Or was it a character?
Or maybe it was an actor or actress? Once you know the answer, there
may be a link that you could use for your project. For example,
if you discover that it was an actor they particularly liked, there
may be a part in your film perfect for that favoured actor.
If that was the case, you could suggest this actor
be approached to play the part. Immediately, the other person's
really interested and excited about your project, and if the meeting
had been to obtain finance for the film, you would have just increased
the chances of getting what you needed.
So, whether you've got an appointment with your bank
manager or other investors, or a meeting to sell your idea, you
know you can meet these people full of confidence, sure you'll stay
relaxed and poised, knowing you can talk to win.
Stuart Goldsmith
© Stuart Goldsmith 2003
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How
to use your body language to develop your success and power
... Stuart Goldsmith shows you how in 'How to Talk & Win'
Want
to be a millionaire? Want to be successful? - Well then
it's time to start claiming responsibility for your life now and
for tomorrow ... "You Must Take Action" Article by Stuart
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